Understanding The Right Way Of Meditation Through Attentiveness
Meditation isn't about tightening the teeth in tenacity. It's about sitting peacefully with yourself, and though it requires its own kind of discipline this has nothing to do with stiffness than with compliant and letting go.
When the inevitable thoughts or feelings come up, you let them to pass through and out of awareness like clouds reflected in water. You don't attempt to push them off, but leave them to pass on their own accord. Irrespective of how 'important' the thinking seem to be or how desperate or worrying the emotions, you don't hang on to them or enable one thought or emotion to trigger another and another till you are off on an inattentiveness track that takes you far away from the simple issue of the in-breath and the out-breath.
If, nevertheless, you do lose control, gently but confidently go back to your breathing the moment you realize this has cropped up. Avoid being irritated with yourself or persuading yourself you'll never understand how to meditate. Your wandering mind is simply demonstrating to you just how much you should apply your meditation techniques. It is assisting you, prompting you, showing you how little control you have over your own thoughts. The right response is gratitude, appreciation towards that part of your mind that has recognized the fact that you are wool-gathering and that has prompted you to return to your point of focus.
I cannot overstress how important this attitude of gratitude is. If you curse yourself each time you become aware you are distracted in thought, you will not only be provoking the unwelcome emotion of self-disgust, you will be taming your mind not to remind you when it is wandering in the future. You are in effect punishing it every time for reminding you, and certainly it doesn't like being punished. So it will point out to you less and less often, and you will find focus becomes harder and harder. In response to the frustration that this brings, your mind will then start whispering persuasively to you that meditation is a total waste of time, and that you would be well encouraged to find something greater to do with your time.
Understanding The Right Way Of Meditation Through Attentiveness
To help your concentration you can count your breaths, counting from one to ten on each out-breath, and then returning to one and beginning again. Should you lose track of your counting, go back to the count of one each time.
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